Shit Annoying Relatives Say during Festivals

Happy Chinese New Year, folks! CNY to me means good food, noisy gatherings, mahjong sessions, red packets and more food. It also means annoying relatives asking pesky questions. Ask any Chinese kid out there and they’re bound to give you a pet peeves list on what they think annoys them to no end during the reunion season.

Here are some popular questions every year:

1) Are you single? (If Y, proceed to next question. If N, skip to 3 & 4)

2) I know this guy/girl who is someone’s auntie’s daughter’s great grandmother’s grand niece/nephew. He/she seems like a very sweet guy/girl. Would you like to meet up? I can arrange something for you…

3) What does he/she do? Preferred answers:

  • -Lawyer
  • -Accountant
  • -Doctor
  • -Engineer.

‘Teaching’ is also acceptable for girlfriends.

4) So when are you getting married?

5) (If married) So when are you having kids?

6) (If already having kids) When’s the next one coming along?

7) (If kids are going to school) What are their results like?

8) (If kids are in college) Oh, they’re taking art? (disapproval and general looks of sympathy) OR Oh, accountancy is great!

9) (My personal favourite) Did you gain weight?

Here are extra ones that I get from being a journalist. (Well not only relatives. People in general annoy me with these. Maybe I should do a separate list).

“Oh, I never see your articles…” (I’m getting tired of explaining to them that I work for the city edition and they don’t get the same version in my parent’s hometown).

“Journalists must have it easy, they just ask questions.”

“So-and-so’s daughter is around your age, working as an accountant! Earning RmXXXX per month…” (proceeds to look at you with beady eyes) So how much are you making?”

“Do you have bonus this year? How much?”

I’m sure lots of people my age can relate to the above. You probably have more to add on to. Do share in the comment box below! 🙂

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