Okay. there’s 10 more mins before 11.30 and bedtime, so I shall make this super quick. Just came back from meeting up with my bestie (it’s her birthday!), she came down from Singapore for the weekend together with the boyfie.. oh wait, now it’s husband. Anyway, we met up for dinner and coffee, and she somehow finds her way back to the topic that I have discussed over with her a thousand times and which she never seems to get my POV – my ex-boyfriend.
She seems to think it’s a waste that we broke up. Yeah, it was a five year relationship, but when it’s done, it’s done. Even if you cling to it, there’s no forcing something that isn’t gonna work. And I believe we’re mature enough people to accept that. But the bestie thinks.. somehow that it has something to do with me not being a good enough girlfriend, not being an understanding enough person, etc. That guys have egos that need to be satiated and tamed. As girls, we should be ‘understanding’, make him open up.
Uhm, with all due respect, as much as I love her to bits, I can’t agree with her line of thinking. She seems to think that we exist just to tolerate and please guys. And that it’s the wife/girlfriend that has to do all the tolerating. Like, girls need face too okay?
I agree that I am one of the most stubborn persons on the planet.I’m very headstrong and I have opinions about things. I can’t play little wifey, cook and clean and be quiet and demure and wait for the husband to come back home everyday. Well I could, but I’d probably suck at it. I’d want to get out, do stuff, express my thoughts on things. I don’t wanna be cooped up, where my whole life extends from the kitchen to the living room. And to me, there’s more to life than just finding a man and settling down and having kids. Sure, those are important things too. But I don’t just wanna jump and go look for some random guy and get married. I want to look for someone who is compatible with me, who understands me, who has less ego and more love to share.
Everytime she brings this up I really feel like rolling my eyes. I always catch myself in time from doing that, but yeah. I mean… it’d be great if the person I liked was THE ONE. But at the same time, if he isn’t… it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.
Meanwhile, I kinda like someone. Despite all I’ve said above, I’m kinda scared as to how we would turn out. I know he probably likes me.. at least a teensy little if not a lot. I do like him, but it just seems like a lot of challenges to face. Meh.
Okay it’s 11.35. Gotta wake up at 5.30 tomoro. Need to go fix my income tax thingamajig. Toodles!