What It’s Like To Date A Filipino

So.

You’ve got your eye on a cute guy from the beautiful country of the Philippines. But you’re worried about cultural differences, and how the relationship might work out.

Fret not – I’m here to share with you what it’s like to date a Filipino, and what you can expect. winkwink 

Now before we proceed, a disclaimer for the party poopers going “OMG Eris so you dated two Filipino guys, you married one and you have a bunch of Filipino friends – what gives you the right to generalise ? Smooth out your knickers, this is purely for fun. I mean, no one gets mad when people ‘generalise’ Virgos as perfectionists (entirely true, though).

Without further ado (but first a photo, coz we lookin’ cute): 

THEY’RE ROMANTIC

Be ready for some extremely corny (but not unpleasant) pick-up lines.

Courtship is a big thing in Filipino culture. Back in the day, a man who wished to woo a woman had to go through the proper steps, first expressing interest in a friendly and discreet manner. Traditional Filipino society was conservative, so the process was often done through a ‘bridge’, a friend who knows both families. The bachelor would visit the family, asking for permission to court the lady. There might be a series of chaperoned dates, lots of gift giving, romantic letters and cards, serenading (called harana) and the like. Oftentimes, the bachelor would have to ‘court’ the girl’s family as well  – gotta please the future in-laws lol. 

Perhaps this is why Filipinos still have a strong notion of romantic love (be it through gifts, love songs, writing, etc.). Coming from a Malaysian Chinese family, where love is rarely expressed in words, it is refreshing to date someone who tells you they love you and puts in the effort to keep things fresh and interesting. I don’t subscribe to the belief that once you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it becomes drab and dull. It’s only boring if you make it so.

I know this is not the best example (seeing as how he’s gone down in history as a despot lol), but ex-President Marcos once said to Imelda, “Just love me now, and I’ll court you forever.” We all know how that went, but you can’t say the idea isn’t romantic!

THEY GET JEALOUS EASILY 

N and I had a huge fight early on in our relationship. I met up with an old friend from grade school, and since we hadn’t seen each other for so long, we got drinks after dinner and hung out until midnight. N was pissed because he said going out 1-on-1 with a guy constitutes a ‘date’ – despite how I tried to explain that we’re just friends. On my end, I felt insulted because it was clearly not a date and how about having a little bit of faith in me? I mean, even my super protective Asian parents didn’t give a shit, so why was he even mad? If the reverse applied, I wouldn’t mind if he went out with a female friend, because there’s this thing called trust. Long story short, he insisted I was wrong, I refused to apologise, and we made a compromise that I wouldn’t stay out past midnight with a guy (apparently a group of people is fine… I don’t get the logic). Now that we’re married though, he doesn’t seem to mind – so I guess it was a ‘we’re not really official yet so I’m worried someone might steal you away thing’ ?

PS: I know some people would call this a red flag – that if a man truly loves you they wouldn’t try to put a leash on you. But I think it goes both ways. If your significant other has made it clear that they’re uncomfortable about something and they’ve explained the reason behind it, weigh it against your own principles, and see if it’s something you can compromise in, in exchange for a more harmonious relationship.  If you’re okay with it, by all means. I feel that couples these days can get too caught up in the ‘he/she has to accommodate ME’ attitude.  End of the day, God gave you brains – use them to make rational decisions based on mutual respect

THEY ARE FAMILY ORIENTED

In general, Asian cultures are more family-oriented than Western ones, and it’s not uncommon to find many generations living together under the same roof. Filipinos are no exception, and they usually have big families. While marriage is between two people, if your beau is living with his fam, naturally, you’d have to get along with his family members. If you come from an individualistic culture, this might be difficult to adapt to. I’m fortunate as my in-laws are nice and reasonable people but then again, I don’t live with them – it might be an entirely different ball game. 😛 At the same time, coming from an Asian family myself, I understand the importance of family to him, so I’d never ask him to choose between us.

THEY’RE RELIGIOUS 

A majority of Filipinos are Catholic and deeply religious. While they might not impose these beliefs on you, I think it’s important to respect the fact that religion plays an important part in their lives. N is Christian, and I’ve been to his church a couple of times to listen to sermons. Although he hopes that I will embrace Christianity some day, he has never forced me to accept his beliefs, and I’ve never insisted that he should be a Buddhist. When you come from different cultures and have different beliefs, respect is key. All too often, couples of different faiths have problems when they can’t find common ground, or dismiss the other person’s faith as lesser than one’s own.

YOU’LL NEVER GO HUNGRY

Filipinos are known for their hospitality and every time I’ve been to the Philippines for holidays, I always leave a couple of pounds heavier. His mom makes a killer nilaga, and his fam is always taking me out for good food whenever I visit. The Hubs likes to try new cuisine, which is great because Malaysians are big foodies as well. If you love food, marry a Filipino!

 

 

 

Join The Subtle Asian Dating Group On FB To Completely Ruin Your Self Confidence

If you’ve been somewhere in the stratosphere and/or spend much of your time on the Internet, then you’ve probably heard of the Subtle Asian Traits Group on Facebook (they’ve even got their own Wiki page), which has over 1.6 million members who share content, memes and have discussions on the Asian experience in the West. An offshoot of this, which I recently heard about, is the Subtle Asian Dating Group.

The most notable thing about the SAD group (haha!) is the ‘auction’ series, where friends of members (and sometimes the members themselves) post photos and a bio on why you should date them, usually accompanied by social media plugs so you can ‘slide into their DMs’. A majority of the members are young and in their early 20s.

As I scroll through the auction posts, all I can say is..  WTF? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY LOOK SO GODDAMN ATTRACTIVE? And it also seems that everyone has a 4.0 CGPA and/or is studying to be a doctor/computer scientist/data scientist/geologist/economist and/or has some sort of talent like being a cellist and performing at Carnegie Hall (actual profile), being an animal rescuer, national athletes, or some shit. That, on top of six packs and anime-like / Korean-oppa faces.

WHY THEN ARE THEY SINGLE? 

The more I go through the posts, the more I feel like a potato. It’s no wonder people have this stereotype of Asians as being overachievers, because they are lol.

That being said, I like looking at pretty people (who doesn’t?) so perhaps I’ll stay in the group for just a bit longer That’s not creepy at all

While we’re on the topic, I thought of doing an auction post for the Hubs. So here goes:

🔴🔴🔴 CHRISTMAS SALE 🔴🔴🔴

😍 HE’S OFF THE MARKET BUT I HAVE TO FOLLOW THE FORMAT SO HERE GOES. PRESENTING: 

  • Name: Neil GM
  • IG: nimbus.neil
  • Location: MNL
  • Age: 33 years young, can also be 10, 20, or 50 depending on hour of the day and mood
  • Ethnicity: 🇵🇭 Filipino (with a spot of Spanish. Like 10%. Which he is very adamant on mentioning)

PROS:

💙 don’t be fooled by the one pack – there’s a six pack underneath

💙 soft belly is perfect as a pillow

💙 Loves cuddles and will shower you with kisses

💙 gamer boi, will understand your need to game and give you space

💙 Will spend six hours in a museum with you and is basically a culture nerd

💙 Infinitely cute boyo, fluffy hair

💙 Cat lover, will meow at random street cats and they will usually come to him (cat overlord)

💙 Gives great massages and hugs

💙 Photo enthusiast; will take great photos of you for socmed

💙 Foodie; will act as your garbage disposal when you can’t finish your food

CONS:

📍 talks and giggles a lot when drunk
📍 can be stubborn (tiger baby)
📍 style still stuck in the 90s, won’t let me dress him up properly
📍 takes forever to decide on what to eat at restaurants + lame jokes that only I laugh at

DO NOT SLIDE INTO HIS DMS BECAUSE HE IS MINE

The end

 

 

 

Of Speed Dating and Random Food Posts

Ever been to a speed dating event? It has become increasingly popular these days, coz people have no time to meet other people outside of work, and when they do, they want it to be fast. The whole idea of speed dating is to engage in short conversations that (usually) lasts less than five minutes. If you like the other party, you can always arrange for drinks after the meetup.

I imagine awkwardness, coz I’ve never been good at making small talk 😀

Last weekend, I got to go and see for myself how these sessions go. Not as a participant though – it was for work, lol. The event was held at Parkamaya, Farenheit 88 KL. For those who haven’t been here before, it’s a cool spot with lots of K and J-pop inspired fashion items.

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Got free coffee, cakes and sandwiches, courtesy of Coffee Stain. The Machiatto Latte was pretty good, but their Iced Chocolate was diluted and tasted like regular powdered chocolate drinks. Well I guess coz it’s free…

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OOTD: Boots, scarf and long sleeved dress from H&M; tights from Primark UK and beanie from boyfie in California. Bag from Roxy.

 

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I made a new acquaintance at the event! Her name is Choy Peng and she’s a regular at all these fun events at Parkamaya and stuff. She blogs at choypengism.blogspot.com, if anyone wants to check out her writing.

CP told me she has been to speed dating events before, and ‘you’d be surprisd by the people you meet’ – including insurance agents, real estate brokers and salesmen who try to sell you stuff while you’re supposed to be getting to know each other. 😀 So desperate meh…

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The couples took turns asking each other questions for five minutes each time, then they had a question and answer session for the chance to win a dinner date. There was also a Miss and Mr Congeniality contest, whereby all the participants had to put stickers behind the guy/girl they like. The one with the most wins. Ps: Purely my opinion, but I think looks DO play a part in this respect. The winners were relatively good looking. But I also noticed that a charming, suave personality helps, coz some guys who weren’t that good looking received lots of heart stickers.

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And then I went.. window shopping! 😀

It’s not often I go to KL coz I hate the traffic and the parking here, so Must. Spend. Time. Shopping.

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Dinner at Fish&CO, my favourite fish N Chip chain restaurant. The one at Pavilion KL serves REALLY good salt and pepper squid. It was so springy and fresh i dont even. My expression when I first chomped on that chewy ring was literally ;_____;.

I have searched long and hard for a place that serves such good squid. And I have finally found it. It is seasoned just right, without being too salty, and the texture is perfect. The hardest part about cooking squid is getting the bouncy, ‘fresh seafood’ texture right. This absolutely nailed it.

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On the other hand, the New York fish n chips was a disappointment. The fish was soggy and overcooked, the meat was soft and spongy. Well I guess you can’t have everything…

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Ending the post with a random picture of KFC lunch. OMG CHEESE SAUCE.

Til next post!