F**k Off Will Ya Jack Norris

PS: I read that with Gordon Ramsay’s voice in my head. Been binging on his shows lately. 

So from time to time, I get soliciting emails for this blog, usually offering website solutions to improve SEO rankings, boost engagement and what have you. They mostly have Indian-sounding names and are written in terrible English with a hotmail or gmail address, so you know they can’t be legit. There’s actually a good article about how they work, here.

Most of the time I just ignore the mails and delete them, but I’ve been getting one too many from a ‘Jack Norris’ who has been hounding me (and countless other spam victims, I’m sure) since January.

The name is the same, but the emails used are different for each. A simple search of the phone number confirms that this is, indeed, a scam number and that Mr ‘Jack Norris’ and his multiple aliases have been at it for some time now.

So I opened one just for the heck of it. See below:

First of all, if you’re going to scam someone, use a proofreader so you don’t sound like a complete and utter fool. Secondly, the only error here is you. Delete yourself. 

Short of deleting my email from the About section (which I put there because I do get genuine people asking me about stuff on the blog), I don’t think there’s much I can do besides blocking and reporting the e-mails as scams, which is difficult to keep track of coz they’re using a new email every time. But Jack Norris? Seriously, dude. Fk off.

PS: No offense to any real Jack Norris-es out there, I’m sure you’re all nice people. 

Eris Is Worth USD50 MIL!!??

…. plus minus 10mil. Sorry, never been good at math.

Well, at least according to these people:

Eris: WOW, a whole 10% for MOTHERLESS babies! Way to get my tear ducts going.. 

Eris: I don’t know.. can I? That sounds like a lot of funds. 

Eris: I know this must be for that Couch Potato Award I entered last year; I’m honoured.

Eris: I didn’t know that the Lord handed out email addresses. 

Eris: Who am I to say no to a pastah? 

Eris: Donation, but it’s not 2.6bil? 

Eris: It’s okay, you can use my face for free, Kim Shawarma. I mean Sharma. 

Eris: I’m flattered Mrs Nedia. I guess posting your kind email here would not count as ‘top secret’, whoops. 

Eris: Oh I didn’t get the 5000, must have missed it. Mind sending it again? 

Eris: I’ve been waiting since 2012! About darn time! 

Eris: I’m very much alive, thanks for the concern Bob! 


Eris: Tsk, tsk, Hazim, what did your mom tell you about entering partnerships with strangers? 

Eris: That’s all very nice to know, but do I look like I care? 


My favourite:


Eris: No. No we may not. 


On another note, it still baffles me that there are people falling for things like this in 2017 lol.