If you’ve been somewhere in the stratosphere and/or spend much of your time on the Internet, then you’ve probably heard of the Subtle Asian Traits Group on Facebook (they’ve even got their own Wiki page), which has over 1.6 million members who share content, memes and have discussions on the Asian experience in the West. An offshoot of this, which I recently heard about, is the Subtle Asian Dating Group.

The most notable thing about the SAD group (haha!) is the ‘auction’ series, where friends of members (and sometimes the members themselves) post photos and a bio on why you should date them, usually accompanied by social media plugs so you can ‘slide into their DMs’. A majority of the members are young and in their early 20s.

As I scroll through the auction posts, all I can say is..  WTF? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY LOOK SO GODDAMN ATTRACTIVE? And it also seems that everyone has a 4.0 CGPA and/or is studying to be a doctor/computer scientist/data scientist/geologist/economist and/or has some sort of talent like being a cellist and performing at Carnegie Hall (actual profile), being an animal rescuer, national athletes, or some shit. That, on top of six packs and anime-like / Korean-oppa faces.

WHY THEN ARE THEY SINGLE? 

The more I go through the posts, the more I feel like a potato. It’s no wonder people have this stereotype of Asians as being overachievers, because they are lol.

That being said, I like looking at pretty people (who doesn’t?) so perhaps I’ll stay in the group for just a bit longer That’s not creepy at all

While we’re on the topic, I thought of doing an auction post for the Hubs. So here goes:

🔴🔴🔴 CHRISTMAS SALE 🔴🔴🔴

😍 HE’S OFF THE MARKET BUT I HAVE TO FOLLOW THE FORMAT SO HERE GOES. PRESENTING: 

• Name: Neil GM
• IG: nimbus.neil
• Location: MNL
• Age: 33 years young, can also be 10, 20, or 50 depending on hour of the day and mood
• Ethnicity: 🇵🇭 Filipino (with a spot of Spanish. Like 10%. Which he is very adamant on mentioning)

PROS:

💙 don’t be fooled by the one pack – there’s a six pack underneath

💙 soft belly is perfect as a pillow

💙 Loves cuddles and will shower you with kisses

💙 gamer boi, will understand your need to game and give you space

💙 Will spend six hours in a museum with you and is basically a culture nerd

💙 Infinitely cute boyo, fluffy hair

💙 Cat lover, will meow at random street cats and they will usually come to him (cat overlord)

💙 Gives great massages and hugs

💙 Photo enthusiast; will take great photos of you for socmed

💙 Foodie; will act as your garbage disposal when you can’t finish your food

CONS:

📍 talks and giggles a lot when drunk
📍 can be stubborn (tiger baby)
📍 style still stuck in the 90s, won’t let me dress him up properly
📍 takes forever to decide on what to eat at restaurants + lame jokes that only I laugh at

DO NOT SLIDE INTO HIS DMS BECAUSE HE IS MINE

The end